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Dear Community--

I started this apothecary in 2016 when Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and instructed me to make 3 flower/gem essences--Full Flowering, Rooted Eros, Gift of Presence.  

Each subsequent essence continues the same collaboration of sacred relationship--it is a conversation between me, Spirit, the plants, the stones, and the sacred energies that want to come through in a tangible form for us to work with.

Pre-pandemic I loved doing in-person events.  I loved connecting with people, sharing my medicine, and letting the magic speak for itself.

Part of what going 'offline' during the pandemic emphasized for me is that I want the visual presentation of my medicine to communicate and align with the deep magic contained within. . .

I'm almost done watching Michael Pollan's 'How to Change Your Mind' on Netflix, and there are tears in my eyes and my chest is so full of emotion.

If you know me from growing up, you will know that I didn't drink or do anything in high school, and even really that much in college.

That was a really good, instinctive and protective choice for me (which is not a judgement on anyone else's path).

My own sensitivities, and lack of the context, lineage, and meaning making of plant medicine, mean that it would have caused more harm than good.

I needed to develop a stronger sense of self, sober, to then learn to meet these plant medicines. . . 

To know ourselves we must stop looking outside for certainty, for some unalienable, Jehovic authority that knows better.

God/dess, Creatrix, the Mystery--it lives equally inside us as without. And it is asking you to learn how to unfold.

It is asking you to slow down. To take one step at a time to trust, to learn your own inner voice, your own wise compass within.

It is from this place that we can begin to reweave our being into coherence, into a living tapestry. Not a static vision of perfection, but one that has stretch, and vibrancy, and tenacity. 

Hieros Gamos is the sacred marriage, the rite of the priestess and the king or priest embodying the Goddess and God in a rite of divine love making, creating heaven on earth and blessing the world with fertility.

To create the sacred marriage within ourselves is to bring together what we have been taught is opposite and in conflict, and to create relationship and harmony within ourselves.

To anoint is to honor Spirit in Matter, to bless, heal and recognize the radiance of the body and of life. 

This oil embodies the potency of the ancient rite of the Hieros Gamos, or sacred marriage, made between the Goddess/Land and the king, which brought fertility, peace and prosperity to the community and world.

We are called on now to make this sacred marriage within ourselves, to divest ourselves of false binaries and live from the more expansive truth of the dance that is the universe. 

It is perfect to use in your daily and ceremonial practice to bless and heal any area of the body where Spirit is not fully embodied in Matter, where we want to nourish sacred erotic intelligence, and/or to simply mark our body as the sacred and beautiful temple that it is.

Core Desire is the place of coherence and embodiment, where who we know ourselves to be in a body, with desires, with authentic gender expression, with real needs and feelings and messiness, allows us to feel coherent.  Not finished/perfected, not aspirationally sexy or rich, but coherent.

I would never want to be 'finished'.  Unfolding, exploring, being curious--probably the ultimate non-sexual (and sexual!) turn-on for me.  But for a long time I felt there was something I was chasing, inside myself.  Something that wouldn't let me off the hook, wouldn't let me ignore it.  And what it asked of me was to keep stripping away all that wasn't truly me.  All that had been "given" to me without consent, without discernment, without kindness.  And I had grown enough to not be able to tolerate it any more.  Honestly, I never really had, but I had to go on my own journey, through all the things I am passionate about (birth, sex, death, plant medicine, witchery, liberation, story, poetry, the soul) to be nourished enough to withstand the stripping down.

Soul Mothering is the foundation of Core Desire. It is the intention, practices, and in-action love for ourselves and the world that create safety and coherence with our being and body for all of ourselves.

It is a soul process because it affirms the presence of Spirit in our Flesh, and honors the individual constellation of our humanity while simultaneously re-weaving the web of life within, around, and between us. 

Soul Mothering is inherently a process of healing Eros because our bodies, and all life, are sensual--we feel, we flow, we spark, we dance. 

Our bodies, our desires, our flesh has been slandered in an effort to shame--and therefore control and suppress--the vast power of bodies that are othered, that are not white/cisgender/male/heterosexual/colonizer, etc.  So the fastest way back to our wholeness, our vitality, our agency--both individually and collectively--is to reclaim our desire, our erotic truth, our embodiment, in a way that makes space for a complexity of truths.