Chickpea to Cook
A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot
where it’s being boiled.
‘Why are you doing this to me?’
The cook knocks him down with the ladle.
‘Don’t you try to jump out.
You think I’m torturing you.
I’m giving you flavor,
so you can mix with spices and rice
and be the lovely vitality of a human being.
Remember when you drank rain in the garden.
That was for this.’
Grace first. Sexual pleasure,
then a boiling new life begins,
and the Friend has something good to eat.
Eventually the chickpea will say to the cook,
‘Boil me some more.
Hit me with the skimming spoon.
I can’t do this by myself.
I’m like an elephant that dreams of gardens
back in Hindustan and doesn’t pay attention
to his driver. You’re my cook, my driver,
my way into existence. I love your cooking . . .’
Rumi – Translated by Coleman Barks
~ ~ ~
Ten years is a long time to be ‘in the soup’. But if you’re not done cooking, what can you do? As I sit here writing my thoughts, I am thinking about May 2008. I had been studying craniosacral for four and half months. I had met the man who was soon to be my husband in March, and was about to end my sacred erotic work with men, which had been powerful, pleasurable, healing and fun. Something in me that had been lying under the surface, like that painting of Ophelia by Sir John Everett Millais, had been seen and acknowledged by my new beloved’s eyes and presence, and now, like a piece of marble that somehow contains the finished shape already, would be mine to refine, stripping away all that was not needed.
There are, of course, many stories I could tell you about the last decade. Marriage and and a second child, furthering my studies with birth and becoming a doula, deepening my craniosacral work, continuing to expand, explore and own my sexuality and spirituality, and even creating my own apothecary when the plants began to speak to me. I love that I have become someone that people come to talk about birth, sex, healing and transformation. But being ‘in the soup’ meant that somehow I could never land in what, exactly, I was doing--many thread, beautiful threads, in fact--but what did they weave into? What was it, exactly, that I was inviting you into?
And then, certain things began to land, and more began to strip away. I thank Spirit for tapping me on the shoulder and whispering in my ear to begin make flower and gem essence elixirs. It is so satisfying to make a product, to see your work and the excitement on people’s faces. And each elixir that I create is a healing transmission that I also receive and channel through my body. These potions continue to refine my heart, my emotional body, my spirit, so that my channel is more clear and open than it’s ever been. Hooray for getting out of one’s own way!
The stripping away continued. In 2017 I healed a family wound at the core of my body/soul, and then claimed a level of my sexual sovereignty as a woman that I didn’t even know was missing. What has flowered from that is this: a body of work to re-member, reclaim, nourish and integrate our Sacred Erotic Intelligence.
Sacred Erotic Intelligence is a living wisdom that is every human’s birthright. We know about many different kinds of intelligence--logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, linguistic, spatial, musical, etc https://blog.adioma.com/9-types-of-intelligence-infographic/ --but none of these are complete without our erotic intelligence. When we isolate our erotic energy, when we pretend that a narrow experience expression of our sensual, sexual selves is all there is, we suffocate our vitality and deprive our genius of its natural food--the flow of Eros through all of life.
When the sacred fires of our erotic intelligence are sparked, we live from a generative place of passion, warmth and radiance. When our holy waters are flowing, we love and create from our juiciness, from succulence, our fullness. Pleasure becomes a compass of wisdom to navigate our life by, and old paradigms of fear and scarcity no longer make sense.
This blossoming in my work has several ways for you to dive in and partake. I’m excited to share a few with you today, and look forward to connecting more deeply around this profoundly pleasurable and transformative conversation. Please note that all of these offerings are open to cisgender and transgender women.*
~ The first portal ~ is a free online class, Sacred Erotic Intelligence: Reclaiming Power, Pleasure and Purpose. We’ll be meeting via Zoom on May 16th at 3 PM Pacific, and dive into how to:
~Nourish ourselves & reclaim our inner authority (Power)
~Restore aliveness & supercharge our presence with erotic intelligence (Pleasure)
~Align ourselves with divine will for the wellbeing of ourselves, our community & the planet (Purpose)
This is a great way to get a feel for how I am approaching this work differently than other sexuality coaches and teachers, and to feel into what is sparked for you. There will be a recording if you cannot make it live.
~ The second portal ~ is Invoking the Sacred Fires: A 13 Day Online Initiation for Women into the Resonant Field of our Sacred Erotic Intelligence
Initiation is not only a birthright, it is a deep soul need of all humans. In sacred circle, we will use embodied teaching, heart sharing, self reflection and ritual to spark our fires and nourish our waters so that we may live life from this source of beautiful unfolding, wisdom and vitality.
It begins May 23, and it's going to be sooooo good!
Learn more, and register for free, here.
~ The third portal ~ is a delicious and powerful day of ceremony co-facilitated by myself and Amanda Elo-’esh Johnson with her Living Wisdom School:
Awaken Your Inner Dakini - Living Wisdom School Women’s Microdose Plant Medicine Ceremony
Are you curious about how to cultivate more of your sacred feminine power? Are you called to release shame around your sexuality and embrace it as a source of Divine communion? Are you ready to fully step into your pleasure body and activate your innate power of manifestation and healing?
These powerful times are calling us back to the sacred elements, to reconnect with all that gives us life . . . but how do we reclaim that connection? How do we embrace our rich, full potency?
Are you ready to remember? Are you ready to awaken your inner Dakini? {read more}
Amanda provides the beautiful gift of legal, safe, microdose plant medicine ceremonies, under the auspices of the Medicine Path Native American Church. If you are feeling drawn but unsure about the medicine, it is 100% optional, and you may simply make a prayer with the medicine and community. I can assure you that the healing is present in the field, either way!
Finally, if your curiosity is piqued, body and heart stirred, but don’t know where to start, I offer 20 min free consultations. This is a conversation to connect with what deeply matters to you, and how I might support your healing and unfolding. Schedule here: http://bit.ly/SEI20minconsult
I look forward to connecting with you, hopefully in more ways than one.
in love & magic,
Ursula
*For the beautiful men and non-binary folks in my life and practice: this is your wisdom, too. It is the wisdom of all humans. And, at this time, Spirit directs me to work with women. I hope that my words bring you inspiration and ahas as well, and I do offer healing touch via my biodynamic craniosacral bodywork sessions that can hold and address some of this juice and wisdom.